It seems the time has come to face the awkward situation of bathing a parent or loved one. To make things worse, your loved one has lost a sense of need for personal hygiene. Illness or age – or both — has taken its toll and now you, as a caregiver, must perform the task for a respected adult who once cared for you. How do you face such a situation? There are several practical steps.

Shirley Price, general manager for Community Hospice of Baldwin County, Alabama, has observed many such situations. “It is natural for there to be some feelings of discomfort and it’s okay to feel strange at first.” She urges patience and communication as the first steps to helping both parties feel more at ease. “If you have home health or skilled nursing support, they are often very willing to talk with each of you and often can give hints and tips on practical measures to will help ease those first experiences.”

If your loved one has dementia, the problem of maintaining personal hygiene may be compounded by the lack of remembering the order in which to do a task such as taking a bath. Also, they may have developed a fear of the bathroom and its facilities. In addition, the person may find it undignified to have someone else wash their face and may no longer see the need for washing at all, according to the Royal College of Psychiatrists in Britain . Furthermore, bath time can be dangerous especially for those who are frail and suffer with dementia.Regardless of the situation, there are strategies to help caregivers perform with dignity and efficiency. The first suggestion from the Royal College is to use tact and diplomacy. If reminders to your family member about bathing no longer are effective, you must establish a regular routine and prompt the loved one as to why he/she should look nice and fresh. Give a reason for looking well groomed: a dinner with the family, someone dropping by for a visit, or perhaps a trip to the ice cream shop. And just like with our children and ourselves, a person is more likely to have a positive reaction from receiving generous amounts of praise and encouragement. Both are more valuable than constant criticism about cleanliness.

So many times depression takes its toll on the elderly. When it does, grooming is often the first thing to fall to the wayside, and therefore you must plan with and partner with your loved one. No adult likes to have decisions made for them or to be told what to do and what not to do. Even the best approach can backfire without a cooperative spirit. To improve or maintain self-esteem, encourage your loved one to spend a little time each day taking care of their physical appearance.

If you must assume the task of bathing a close family member, Ms. Price suggest six tips for making the bathing process a little easier for both of you:

1. Gather all supplies before you begin.
2. Close the blinds or doors to give privacy and make sure the room is warm and not drafty.
3. Choose a quiet time when there would not likely be visitors dropping by and make the bath pleasure and not a chore.
4. Test the water temperature for the shower, tub or basin. It should be comfortably warm and not too hot or cold.
5. Wash your hands and then wear gloves. “If you feel strange about wearing gloves, tell your loved one that the nurse has suggested that you wear gloves to keep from spreading germs to them. Or, the nurse can explain for you why such a measure is necessary,” Ms. Price continues. “And allow the person to participate as much as possible in the tasks. This helps them retain some dignity and exercises their motor skills.”
6. Use light cotton sheets or towels for body drapes and only expose the portion of the body being cleaned at the time.

It might not be necessary for your loved one to bathe everyday, but give encouragement for daily cleaning of their face, underarms, and genitals. Let them bathe themselves for as long as possible and provide them with user friendly tools.

Toothbrushes are available with built-up handles and denture brushes, nailbrushes and dental floss holders have new designs for those with reduced range of motion and flexibility. The Aid Association for Lutherans publication, Home Sweet Home, highlights items on the market that aid in personal grooming and make the home and bath a safer place. Bathmats and handrails for the tub or shower are at the top of the list.

Since Alzheimer’s patients often lose their depth perception, they may develop a fear of bathing. Paired with a loss of recognition of those family members tending to them and even the loss of the recognition of themselves, they may become frightened and agitated at bath time. When this occurs, it is best to abandon the bath for the time being. If the problem persists, then it might be best to let a nurse handle the task, suggests the Royal College psychiatrists.

In the majority of cases, there is no catastrophic illness, either physical or mental, that causes our loved ones to need assistance with the basic tasks of daily living and grooming. And just because they need help and occasionally support does not mean they have stopped being individuals and want to be treated like adults. We must also remember as caregivers, the answers are never easy and the challenges and guilt feelings often mount high on a daily basis. What’s more, Ms. Price stresses, “Communication between loved ones, caregivers, and families is so important. Be open with each other, be positive and most of all, be patient.”

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If you or a loved one need assistance with maintaining your personal hygiene Caregiver’s Home Solutions is here to help!  Our dedicated and compassionate caregivers provide expert assistance, ensuring comfort and dignity with our personalized and reliable in-home care services.  Call us now at 203-870-9850 for help maintaining your daily hygiene or any other non-medical home care needs!